The Rational Male

Rollo Tomassi

Buy on Amazon

Candid account of how women respond to different things men do. I agree with parts of it, disagree with other parts. Makes a case for “taking the red pill” to understand that finding “the one” is a poor way to view dating. Instead, Tomassi writes, men should always have multiple sexual options available, and this is how to consistently maintain being attractive to women (even through a monogamous relationship). Interesting book, but Models by Mark Manson is a better guide for dating / gender relations for men.


One of the primary foundations of game awareness is basing your estimation of a woman based upon her actions and behaviors, rather than her words or implied pretense. This principle is founded in behaviorism’s cardinal principal – behavior is the only reliable evidence of motivation.

This discussion was the catalyst for one of my waking realizations – despite all odds, people are to feel entitled to, or deserving of, an important love of their life.

Emotional investment, personal, financial, even life-potential investments and sacrifices then follow in an effort to create a soulmate. In the absence absence of an ideal, one must be created from available resources.

There’s nothing wrong with backing down from an argument you have with your girlfriend. But there is something wrong when you continually compromise yourself in order to keep the peace with the understanding that she’ll withhold intimacy as a result of you holding your ground. That is a power play, also known as a shit test.

Real power is the degree to which a person has control over their own circumstances. Real power is the degree to which we actually control the direction of our lives.

This is the single greatest failing of average frustrated chumps; they vomit out everything about themselves, divulging the full truth in themselves to women in the mistaken belief that women desire that truth as a basis for qualifying their intimacy. Learn this now: women never want full disclosure.

Familiarity is anti-seductive.

Always remember perfect is boring.

She must be reminded daily why you’re fun, unpredictable and exciting, not only to her, but other women as well. This requires covertly, tactfully, and demonstrably implying that other women find you desirable.

Thus women are biologically, psychologically and sociologically the filters of their own reproduction, whereas men’s reproduction methodology is to scatter as much of his genetic material as humanly possible to the widest pool of sexually available females.

To counter the subconscious dynamic to their own genetic advantage, women initiate social conventions and psychological schemas to better facilitate their own a breeding breeding methodologies. This is where women have always had the prerogative to change her mind and the most fearful of behaviors becomes socially excusable, while men behavior is constrained it to a higher standard of responsibility to do the right thing (which is invariably to the advantage of a woman’s reproductive strategy).

The two greatest difficulties for women to overcome in their own methodology is that they’re only at a sexually viable peak for a short window of time (generally their early 20’s) and the fact that the qualities that make a good long term partner (the Good Dad) and the qualities that make for good breeding stock (Good Genes) only rarely manifest themselves in the same male.

The average frustrated chumps are like a bunch of crabs in a barrel. As soon as one is about to climb out, there always a half dozen ready to pull him back in again add to this a self doubt from societal conditioning is that tell him to stay the same not aspire to more he’s doing it right. And it’s amazing that any AFC progresses beyond what he was.

Every sexual competitor seeks to disqualify their rivals from breeding opportunities. Most animals fight for territory or harem rights. Humans generally (though certainly not exclusively) do the same combat in the psychological. We seek to disqualify sexual competitors by calling into doubt the sexual credibility of a rival. “Yeah he’s really good looking, but that means he’s probably gay” from a man, or “You think that blonde with the big boobs is hot? Girls who dress like that are usually sluts” from women are both psychological, sexually disqualifying forms of combat.

There’s no shortage of examples, but feminization from a behavioral psychology perspective, is nothing less than a socialized effort in deliberate behavioral modification of men’s natural drives and predilections to better fit the feminine imperatives.

The essence of plate theory is that a man is as confident and valuable as his options.

“Women would rather share a high value man then be settled by a faithful loser.”

Obviously I’m not anti-monogamy, however monogamy should never be a goal in and of itself; it should be a byproduct of plate theory, but only when you’ve properly filtered through enough plates to understand how options play into confidence and controlling the frame. The frame you enter into a committed monogamy is imperative to the health of that relationship.

Never overtly tell a woman, you’ve got other plates than her spinning. Allow her discover this by your mannerisms, your behaviors and definitely by your availability to her.

Our biological impetus is a desire for unlimited access to unlimited sexuality with females bearing the best physical attributes.

Women’s sexual value decreases as they age, meaning there is no guarantee that your beautiful vivacious 27 year old bride will remain so at 37. In fact, the odds are that she won’t. All of this makes for betting your biological imperative on monogamy critically important and less deserving of the widest possible selection.

A truly powerful man jealously guards his most precious resources is independence and his ability to maneuver. In other words, his options and his ability to exercise them

Anxiety in women is good for men. Makeup clothing, shoes, indirect communications with men and women social conventions comparing and evaluating dates and possible suitors everything is born from this competitive desire to achieve security with the best possible guy and make damn sure that the girl next door doesn’t get him first.

Most relatively attractive women covertly have a constant bullpen of starters ready to go to bat at any one time – these are also known as ‘Orbiters’. Orbiters are the attention providers, the “maybe” guys. It makes a little difference in terms of available options which she chooses at any given time, the very fact that she has five or six of them pursuing her is enough to boost her sense of self worth and her social status within her same-gender peers, and give her the confidence to drop any one of her plates at a moment’s notice for any reason, knowing that two or three more guys stand ready to take his place, no questions asked

Remember, attention is the coin of the realm in female society. The capacity to command attention determines self esteem, peer status, sexual selectivity and a host of other factors in a woman’s life, so spinning plates becomes more than just a “which guy am I going to get with tonight” prospect.

Even when a woman has no intention of ever becoming sexual with a “maybe” guy, his attention still has some value to her.

Competition anxiety between women is something men can exploit for their own plate spinning, but the reason it is useful is because women so readily use it against each other. For a woman to say to another woman is a “slut”  translates into an overt betrayal of this unspoken social contrivance. Essentially she’s saying, “the rules are that women require commitment for sex, but here’s one who will never be worthy of any guys commitment because she won’t play by the rules you suckers think she will.” She is tacitly disqualified for a man’s commitment and is, at least in the accusing woman’s mind, a reduced threat in this feminine competition. She becomes exposed in the same game they’re all playing and in being so, loses attention and therefore status and personal esteem.

The perception that your attention is sought after increases its value – it’s when men are too eager to get with a woman that their attention becomes worthless and interest levels decline.

At what point do you stop? How old are you? if you’re under 30, stay in the game. If you’re over 30, stay in the game, but cool things off occasionally – the only time a man should even contemplate monogamy is after experiencing abundance.

A man’s default response should always be to excuse him from the “let’s just be friends” situation.

Guys cling to long distance relationships because they’ve learned live yet to learn that rejection is better than regret.

There are limitations on the degree to which a friendship can develop between men and women. The easy illustration of this is that at some point your female “friend” will become intimately involved with another male, at which point the quality of what you perceived as a legitimate relationship will decay. It must decay for her intimate relationship to mature. For instance, I’ve been married for 17 years now; were I to enter entertain a deep friendship with another female, particularly an attractive female, other than my wife, my interest in this woman automatically becomes suspect of infidelity – and of course the same holds true for women with man-friends. This dynamic simply doesn’t exist for same sex relationships because the sexual aspect is inconsequential.

Get it out of your head that you’re even in a so called “friend zone” with any woman. There is no friend zoom. There’s only the limbo between you being fooled that a girl is actually a friend on an equitable level to your same sex friends, and you understanding that as soon as she becomes intimate with another guy your attentions will become a liability to any relationship she might want to have with the new sexual interest and she has put she puts you off, or you do the same when you become involved with another girl.

You may think it’s great social proof to have some hot friend endorse you as a good lay for her other friends, but women talk. In fact, it’s all they do most of the time. Your status as a friend gets transferred to her girlfriends.

Part of being alpha is your facility with male interactions. If all your friends are women than this calls your alpha cred into question for a woman.

It’s not uncommon to share common interests. It’s when you alter your interest to better facilitate a connection that you force it.

The most ironic thing about this “Identity Crisis” is that the least attractive thing to most women is a man who is willing to compromise any part of his identity to placate to her, much less a wholesale selling-out of it.

Women are naturally attracted to the masculine independence as it represents a very strong few for security and potential to provide that security to her (and any children she may have).

I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by women for their sacrifices. Learn this now, you won’t.

Women should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life, never the focus of it.

Our great danger in this life is not that we aim too high and fail but that we aim too low and succeed.

Game has been described as the logical social reaction to the women that the past 60 plus years of feminism, social feminization and the feminine primacy has created from the men of today.

As we continue along you can see that the peak years for women’s sexual marketplace value tops out at around 23 years. Fertility, desirability, sexual availability and overall potential for male arousal and attention reach an apex between 22 and 24 years of age.

The age’s between 27 and 30 are subliminally the most stressful for women as the realization sinks in that the realization sinks in that they must trade their “party years” short term meeting protocol for a long term provisioning strategy.

By age 36, the average man has reached his own sexual marketplace apex. It’s at this phase of his sexual / social / professional appeal has reached maturity. Assuming he’s maximized as much of his potential it’s possible, it’s at this stage that women’s hypergamous directives will find him the most acceptable for her long term investment. He’s young enough to retain his physique in better part, but old enough to have attained social and professional maturity.

When I encourage my friend to quit smoking before she gets cancer, I’m a concerned good friend helping my friend with a health risk behavior. But when I tell a friend, he needs to change his approach to women and this is a reason for his unhappiness and he needs to change his outlook on, and approach with women, look better and feel better, than I’m a shallow prick and insensitive to his problem.

So is it any real surprise that it’s historically Men who’ve primarily been the empire builder, the conquerors, the creators, and destroyers who’ve (for better or worse) moved humanity the most significantly? Masturbation defuses this impulse. It kills that drive, or at least sublimates it. So wouldn’t it stand to reason that a global social convention that shames men for masturbation would be beneficial to a society interested in expanding?

We get frustrated because women communicate differently than we do. Women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. Men convey information, women convey feeling. In relating information men prioritize content, women prioritize context.

Women enjoy the communication more than the information being transferred. It’s not a problem to be solved, it’s the communication that’s primary. When a chump supplies her with everything all at once we think, yeah, the mystery is gone, he’s not a challenge anymore. Why would she be interested?

Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant, told to be confident, told to be anything they have on their list of prerequisites for intimacy.

A cardinal truth of the universe is that genuine desire cannot be negotiated.

If I have one life to live and one precious lifetime to do it in, what is more important; a commitment to oneself in learning and securing the best options for a lifetime or be committed to the principle of self-sacrificing commitment?

Hypergamy is a woman’s natural (which is to say, genetically wired) preference for a higher status male – that is, higher status than herself and also higher status than the other men in her field of vision and also perhaps higher status than men she has known in the past and even (at the extremes) higher status than most men she can personally imagine meeting. That cuts across a range of possible relationships, all the way from a one night stand to marriage. In all cases, women naturally prefer the highest status man they can get. And sometimes they want so much status that they won’t settle on any man they could actually get. “Status” has a varied meaning in this definition. Certain things correlate with high status, for instance money, prestige, social standing, etc. However, a man can have all of that and still be low status because of low status intra-personal behavior (i.e., needy schlumpitude). The highest possible status male would be rich, good looking, fit, well dressed, high social cache, high prestige job (preferably one which involves risk, physical risk being better than mere monetary risk), and also extroverted, dominant, the leader of his group of friends, able to command any social situation, and so on. However, women are wired to be turned on more by the latter behavioral traits than by the former substantivetraits. So, if you have to choose one or the other, to get women, be socially dominant and a broke societal loser rather than socially awkward and a rich societal winner. But best to be both, if possible.

The funny thing about regret is, it’s better to regret something you have done, then regret something you haven’t done.

Never under any circumstances live with a woman you aren’t married to or not planning to marry within six months.

Always be in control of the birth.

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